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<title>the gods made me love another by birdbranches (OliveBranch_10), OliveBranch_10</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23983678">the gods made me love another</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/OliveBranch_10/pseuds/birdbranches'>birdbranches (OliveBranch_10)</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/OliveBranch_10/pseuds/OliveBranch_10'>OliveBranch_10</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bad Poetry, Falling In Love, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Identity, Gender Issues, Love, Mythology - Freeform, Poetry, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, my emo shit, non-binary</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 19:48:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>901</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23983678</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/OliveBranch_10/pseuds/birdbranches, https://archiveofourown.org/users/OliveBranch_10/pseuds/OliveBranch_10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>poetry about my dummy thicc life<br/>(self discovery, sad days and good ones, and all the in-between weeks)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. wishes are a fools dream</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>me being a gay disaster? more likely than you think</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I wish to be<br/>I wish to be gone<br/>I wish things were over<br/>I wish I was done</p><p>guilt is a tether<br/>much stronger than love<br/>keeps me bound<br/>and connected <br/><br/>for all I stay affected<br/>by the remorse I feel<br/>and create <br/>I wish to be rejected</p><p>This empty husk<br/>that smiles so bright<br/>to please only<br/>and never falter</p><p>I cannot let go<br/>nor can I stay<br/>offering falsitude <br/>as a character<br/><br/>I wish to be <br/>much more<br/>much less<br/>of who I am </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. I  am but a season of emotions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>May the breeze of summer carry all my unanswered loves</p>
  <p>as a reminder for the winter storm to cradle my frozen tears</p>
  <p>and feed them to the buds of my desire in spring.</p>
  <p>So that autumn can cause the embers of rage to light again.</p>
</blockquote>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thank you for reading</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Self worth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>General.</p><p>I wish to be a general like in the movies</p><p>She is vulnerable within her power,<br/>
she moves like glory and fights like death<br/>
they fear her wrath and admire her compassion<br/>
they envy the one she has chosen to protect</p><p>I am not a general</p><p>My loyalty needs kindness to thrive<br/>
My compassion needs another’s smile<br/>
My wrath is bound to my emotions and<br/>
hurt, hurt, so much self created hurt.</p><p>I don’t move like glory and I don’t fight like death<br/>
all I ever do is wonder and fret</p><p>would I not doubt my place<br/>
if I were a general?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thank you for reaaaaading</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. The Gunman</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I’m fighting a war</p><p>its everyones and only sometimes its my own</p><p>no one can fire a gun but me</p><p>yet I’m so afraid of the trigger that i keep the gun</p><p>pointed at me.</p><p> </p><p>My fingers will always tremble</p><p>but they clench and tighten when someone yells</p><p>they can't pull the trigger</p><p>but they sometimes convince me, almost.</p><p> </p><p>Sometimes the gun is heavier</p><p>than the honey people drown me in</p><p>their words so sweet that the gun feels toxic</p><p>yet the honey can crystallize and</p><p>it never allows me to change to guns directions.</p><p> </p><p>When I wake up and realize</p><p>the gun is not in my hand I can’t rejoice</p><p>the panic swallows me whole</p><p>and when I wake up the gun is back</p><p>the ease i feel is bitter.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. united futures</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>We believe in peace,<br/>A calm world where we can see <br/>No difference between one brother<br/>A sister, a husband, a mother</p><p>We pray for harmony<br/>Where no one would think<br/>Of timing their exit for when dark falls<br/>So does safety.</p><p>We hope for smiles<br/>That everyone can truly feel<br/>Their own skin as if it’s <br/>Truly theirs.</p><p>We think of progression<br/>For today is not the end<br/>And with our future family<br/>We will stand united, crossed borders<br/>And native tongues</p><p>We are the future.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. cruelty killed the cat</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Earth is a cruel and mocking stain</p><p>in the universe, created as</p><p>hell among nature</p><p>yet I was born a devil</p><p> </p><p>for I rose from ashes of society</p><p>My world falling into ruins</p><p>but never has it been so advanced</p><p>Lungs are made of poison</p><p>since no air I breath is clean</p><p>we hit rock bottom</p><p>and dug ourselves in.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. rattle my bones to keep me going</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Treasure me<br/>Speak of me and ages to come<br/>make me a fairytale<br/>hide my features in stone<br/>marble my strength <br/>and hide my weakness<br/>for i am a godess</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. no souls left</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>mountains becoming smaller<br/>towers collapsing above me<br/>as the sun burns through the floor<br/>and my hands can’t seem to stop touching<br/>the flaming corpses <br/>of the crumbling walls of society <br/>that i keep trying to repair </p><p>riding through forests<br/>surround me with rivers so<br/>that I collapse <br/>and the water will caress me<br/>for my body is damaged beyond repair<br/>cradled in society's arms<br/>of which I will watch from afar<br/>and trust my king to rule damnation </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. golden words</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>The birth of a thought, or so I was made.<br/>I was born in this room<br/>While lying in a bed<br/>Looking but not really seeing<br/>Deep within my mind<br/>I came crawling out</p><p>Wonders are born,<br/>created by speech and mind<br/>words making shapes</p><p>Prayers containing a message<br/>for ghosts you were born with<br/>Breath in, breath out</p><p>For golden words lay heavy on the soul</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. galaxies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>lights are fading every night<br/>yet I have never seen <br/>the world, so bright.<br/>The stars come out<br/>and the moon celebrates<br/>its nightly wonder<br/>for lonely gazes</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. judge</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>play for god to judge me<br/>so that I know you’ll be fair<br/>only my words are against me<br/>and no false thought to speak<br/>honest and honor for each</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. YOU&I</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"And let our tale be unending,</p><p>that no one, no deity or god, can find the finish line,</p><p>for something so wonderful as</p><p>You and I"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. love another</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>the gods made me love another<br/>they will never be mine <br/>but the tragedy is, i will never be theirs</p><p>wish that the gods made me love another<br/>that i could smile in the face of angels <br/>without a shimmer of doubt clinging</p><p>wish i could love another<br/>for this love is more cursed than good</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thanks</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. love is fickle</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>sad shit</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There is a thought in my mind</p><p>sometimes it's quiet, sometimes it roars.</p><p>but most of the time it's sneaky.</p><p>slithers around and pokes at my vulnerabilities.</p><p> </p><p>It tells me I'm not special</p><p>easy to leave, and even easier to forget</p><p>wonder if it's right</p><p>but on some days I don't doubt it</p><p> </p><p>Am I lost at open sea, a lonely star in the universe, or a forgotten relic from the past?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank for reading</p></blockquote></div></div>
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